Wednesday, January 31, 2007
blank.
the past few nights havent exacty been the best.
i asked myself so many questions.
questions that i couldnt answer.
questions you couldnt or wouldnt answer.
things that confused me, hurt me.
words that i didnt understand.
things i couldnt believe,
and yet, had to accept.
it's times like these that make me feel like a crumpled sheet of paper.
and the phonecall.thanks a heaven lot. I'M AWESOME.
sighs,
i was like, self inflicting pain.
it's how smth makes you happy, and yet sad.
and it's up to you to decide which is more, i guess.
before i slept i realised a lot of things you said made sense,
thanks for giving me strength.
moving on,
it felt like God was trying to speak to me today.
in many ways.
some people might think i'm just being crappy.
but, oh well.
first, for english, we did an article from TIME magazine on the love lives of teenage boys.
to sum, up the article, it was about a research done by a sociologist who found out that teenage boys are actually as sensitive as girls.
a few funny statements popped up here and there.
a few sentences that happened to make sense and apply to me.
She also wanted to know if he really meant it.
it finally came to the question--
Does the sensitive teenage boy exist?
and the first person Mrs Alex asked was Samantha Branson.
who said after a short pause.
YES, but boys rarely show it.
due to their --- (i didnt know how to put it cos i didnt want to generalize)
chorus answer, MALE EGOOOOO.
it seems as if popular culture us waking up to the reality of the emotionally sensitive male.
so yea.
then after recess, religious education, we talked a bit on Vocation.
then came the question--
How will you know whether you love someone enough to get married?
and mrs tan asked me.
'you're samantha, right? what do you think?'
and i'm like.
i think you'll know when you understand his flaws, and more importantly, accept them.
and she's like
'YES!VERY IMPORTANT. blah blah blah.'
and everyone's like, 'WAHHHH, SAMMMM how you know ah!'
then we had to do a survey on What love is and ISN'T.
and we had to tick qualities we'd look for in a potential ...
God's really trying to say something.
then after school, there's art.
art's my form of destressing really.
i love art.
i worked on my clouds for the whole four hours.
i'm rather happy with how they turned out.
sat on the same chair, use dtexture paste, then colour pencil.
shined the spotlight on it while colouring.
i like.
took a few photographs.
latest to leave, as usual!
got home, had dinner, and here i am now.
for those who're wondering, i'm fine.
or maybe, that's just what i'm telling myself.
you know how you think of smth so much cos you hope it'll happen.
it's like that.
it's like, AH.
i know i know,
No, I dont.
i cant keep hanging on.
i cant keep being left wandering, left lost.
i never gave up on you.
you did.
i sacrificed a lot.
there's no amount of words that can express how i felt, feel, will feel.
it's just not the same.
no prize for guesses why.
sprinkled in glitter.
9:15 PM
